My restless Aries spirit liked that idea, so I did what any girl in my position would do… I grabbed my cat, booked a one-way ticket to Denmark, and became an expat! Hyphenated Last Name Pros and Cons. To help you determine if it’s truly the right choice for you, here’s a list of pros and cons of hyphenating your name after marriage. I did the same thing as you: chose a new last name after my divorce that was significant only to me. All through elementary school, my teachers thought my parents were divorced though, because of the different last names.Personally, I'm not down with hyphenating. Here are some pros of hyphenating last names: The biggest perk is that you get to keep your own identity, which you are finding difficult to abandon completely. 29*****Ellie. Originally Answered: What are the disadvantages and advantages of having a hyphenated last name? By Kristi Gustafson Barlette on April 2, 2010 at 11:45 AM. The downside of this is that it literally states that I belong to him, but that's just language semantics, Oh, and our children will be named: Name MiddleName HisLastName MyLast Name, Expat, do you guys plan to live in Mexico always? Your friends, colleagues, and clients won’t lose track of you after your name change. Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names … Once upon a time, I had the chance to move to the happiest country in the world! One of the best parts is that the sky is the limit. My last name is a strong part of who I am, and although I have two brothers to carry on the namesake, it still doesn't change the fact that I would like to keep it. New posts will not be retrieved. accomplishments which you have gained before your marriage. It allows you to retain your identity while still legally adopting your partner's moniker. You are a fantastic writer and it really is addictive reading! But legally and professionally, my name is First Middle Maiden-Married. Hyphenating last name after marriage: How to decide what’s right for you. If you’re an unmarried parent, we have an article that may help: Children of Unmarried Parents. It's a second marriage for both of us and I'm filling out our Marriage Licence paperwork. I actually almost got dropped from all my classes in college one semester because my tuition funds weren't applied correctly because of discrepancies with her last name. If you are going through a paternity case in Missouri, Illinois, Kansas, or … If you both know that you are keeping your own last names, there is no reason to stress over what you should do. Print; 39; More; This is an … Many courts are encouraging hyphenated last name to increase settlement in cases. Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. He mentioned the middle name thing to me, and I think that might be what I go with. Are you a doctor, … GL! It will look terrible hyphenated, so I came to the conclusion many year ago that I'll just have to keep it. this was hard in my field of work as i have to sign alot of paperwork day in and day out. (Need opinions.) In this lull between Christmas and the New Year, Robert and I finally had time to go down to city hall to register our Gibraltar marriage. I still have my identity...Although my maiden name was not common, and my new last name is common. Good morning! Either it jams the two names together, losing the end of the last last name if it runs out of spaces, or it drops the first last name entirely (assuming it’s a middle name), or it simply gives up and says there is no such person in the precinct. My FI and I were just discussing this last night. If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. My new initials will be BMW. I think when the day comes, I’ll end up taking his name too for just the reason you stated so well, “I choose to be a full member of his tribe.” Cheers to you and your new family! Cons: Whichever partner's last name is not used will have that name fall even further out of the public sphere. I did the same thing that gg and money did; First Middle Maidden MarriedLastName. When they had kids they had her last name as their middle name and then their fathers last name. Dana. However, there are some drawbacks to hyphenating. it gets exhausting after a while. If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. Hyphenating your last name allows you to maintain your identity while also accepting your spouse’s. Just curious. Thank you so much, Kat! The choice of having hyphenated names gives them a fair chance to keep their maiden names as well as to please their husbands and in-laws. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage … To help you out with this decision, we've listed 10 pros and cons of changing your last name. I love it. Pros and Cons of hyphenating a last name. I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. hyphenated last name pros and cons. If you decide to go with a merged last name or create a new one, it’s very important to thoroughly consider all the pros and cons of your last name change. When we have kids, they will have DH'sLastName/my new last name.So, it's not as confusing as it sounds - I just couldn't choose which name to drop and just kept them both. Advantages of not changing your name after marriage. They can be lengthy: Make sure you consider how long your name will be when joined together via a hyphen. So, from now on, I’ll go by Mrs. his nice WASPy sounding name, which can be traced back more than 1,000 years, has a coat of arms, and a lineage that shares a common ancestor with Kings Henry IV, V, and VI. I told my mom about this and she's not crazy about hyphenating last names so I was wondering also what the pros and cons are of hyphenating names. Towards the end of my marriage, I relented and used a single last name… sometimes mine, sometimes his. Hyphenated names: the pros. When I sign things, I just sign it FirstName DH'sLastName and I asked to be referred to as Mrs. DH'sLastName. I knew a guy who had a hyphenated last name and each part was 3-4 syllables. On our joint account, I am FirstName MaidenName DH'sLastName, but on my own bank account I am all 4. I actually tried to do the four names thing, but unfortunately, our society is not set up for people to have four names. So my name is smashed together on the ticket. I'm more attached to my maiden name than my middle name. Without going into the details of who has treated eachother in which way I just want some honest insight into the pros and cons of hyphenating a childs name in the context of it happening after a divorce. But overall I'm happy with the decision. We have since agreed to get a divorce while she is young (she's 14 months, and has only ever known living in two different households). You still keep your name. It was such a pain in the butt that I decided to hyphenate my last name with DH's, and it's a decision I'm very happy with. Pros. She has no brothers and didn't want to get rid of it. Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. Hyphenated names: the pros … But if you're Jane Smith-Doe, there should be no question that the last name is Smith-Doe. (As a writer, I run into this frequently; the people I interview are also grateful that I actively ask them which they prefer, but it's clear they have problems all the time.) So my maiden name will become my middle name. Your email address will not be published. My H has no opinion or problem with it either way...just wanted to get some opinions.I wanted to ask the ladies who have hyphenated their names post-marriage for any insight they can provide in to the pros and cons of doing so. It just seems to complicate things. Just do what you like. I still didn’t want to give them just one of our last names, but the unconventional idea of making up a new name suddenly didn’t seem so weird. I’m a long-time reader and I am enjoying the new blog design. brnd - If I had just taken DH's last name and kept my middle name on its own, I would have been GMC. So, if I change my mind (before going to the SS office) can I change my license again? What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Sacre Coeur? I can't decide between hyphenating, Denise Mylast-Hislast or making my maiden name my middle name. I smiled when I read you did that too. It's unusual and I really, really like it. Unfortunately, it's also 9 letters with a capital letter in the middle. I go by First Maiden Married. 1. Filed Under: a doomed love story, wedding, Dear Sage, Pros of hyphenating. Indicates both spouses’ names and thus both family origins. Again, someone who hyphenates with shorter names might have a different experience from mine, but every time someone asks me to spell my last name over the phone, I … When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name. Your friends, clients, and colleagues … I moved my maiden name to my middle name. If you have one that you find embarrassing or that brings the wrong kind of attention, changing it may relieve you of a lot of embarrassment or hassle. Cons: Hyphenated last names can also lead to administrative hassles. Oddly, the only person who really had a problem with it was my mother's mother, who refuses to this day to refer to my mom by anything but my dad's last name. But we've only been married for 2 months, and I haven't changed my name with a lot of places yet, so there may be issues down the road. I think it's a hassle. When a person’s name is hyphenated, the machine simply cannot cope. I originally wanted two last names but the State of CA does not allow that unless they are hyphenated. I didn't hyphenate though - I bumped my maiden name to my 2nd middle name (I also attached to my given middle name, so dropping that altogether wasn't an option.) "I Did It": Parents-to-be Stephanie and … I actually don't really like my middle name. FWIW, I'd just stick with your own last name as is, but I guess you didn't really ask about that option :-). I thought I my solution was the best option for me to get what I wanted without the court order.If I had to do it again, I would have picked one name. 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